I really hope I am learning to do something right...

Early wake up of Saturday was worth it. Ulf had invited couple of his friends to spend evening (for them but morning for me) with us so I could meet them. There was Matariki and Jacob and Ciarente with a friend. They were all nice and I felt welcome in their company. This time I didn’t have the feeling that Matariki is distant in my company. It feels like we are slowly but steadily systematically mingling our lives with Ulf. We have really seen effort to learn how we both are. He is seeing effort to get to know my friends and vice versa. There have been talks that he would take me to Paiho to meet his family and that he would like to meet my parents. Everything feels to work out like a dream. It just feels to be too good to be true. I can’t help to expect a moment when we wake up to hard reality, but I hope that finally I am doing something right.

In my past relationships I can’t remember that there would have been such an effort from both sides to become part of the life of the other one. Veren really avoided letting me close or didn’t want to get involved too close with my life. Mordenkainan, Teo and Simeon all relatively short and hot relationships with fun moments and being there for the other when needed, but no real effort to really become part of other one’s life, even attempts to keep one out part of the life and then when the waking up to reality finally happened there wasn’t enough ties to keep us together. With Roc there was more effort to get to know each others, but not so systematic steps what we have taken with Ulf. Roc never really invited me to meet his friends or see effort to become friends with mines. I think the dream with him is over and we are in the part finding out did we create enough ties to each others to stay together... currently I am not sure of that.

I really hope I am learning to do something right...