I am not going to be used by anyone...

Of course you should make contact with them! They are your kin! You owe it to Carin that you make contact with them”

It’s not that simple. My life is what it is, partly because of decisions made by you. My life works now. I am not so sure do I want to add complications to it. I am pilot, wealthy pilot, filthy rich from dirt dweller point of view. What would you do, if a billionaire would contact you and tell that she is your long lost granddaughter? Of course you would welcome her with smile and open arms. But would your feelings be real… yes at least as long as you think her wallet and what she could do for you.

Of course I am curious for… who are my grandparents… from what kind of background my biological father came… do I have tons of aunties and cousins… but I don’t know can I make real relationships to them as pilot. Is it all they see? It might have been different if I would have got to know them in my childhood when I was just plain Carinelle, a kid of a promising young researcher. Besides they don’t know what kind of man my biological father was. They now what kind of a toddler he was, but they don’t have a clue who he grew up to be.

But if nothing else than to make your last days happy I will contact them, maybe I can arrange that my … grandfather… could meet you… But I am not going to walk there blind; I want to be fully informed… who the political parties are there, who are the ones behind the power, what kind of game they play and what are the stakes in the game. I am not going to be used by anyone.