It would be so easy...

I noticed that I have troubles to keep a promise I made for myself. Orthanach proposed to test taking a different approach for all my relationships for a while. See that does it make a difference. Not to give any excuses to others to take me lightly, consider me self evident or consider that I am not seriously involved.

I promised to myself that this time I won't make the first initiative to go for a date, I promised to myself to avoid one night stands and I promised to myself consider joining the clan and taking the voluval. It would be possible just legally agree on paper for making it official, but Orthanach said that it would make it too easy for some members of the clan consider me lightly, not as a full member and that would make it easy for myself to not consider myself as full member. So that would be giving excuses... for them as well as for myself. I don't have to decide it at once. According to Orthanach youngsters go through during their childhood a path of tasks that coach them into growing spiritually and understand better their cultural heritage. He thinks I could try the same approach and to do the same tasks even I am adult. That would help me understand better my cultural heritage and grow slowly to decide do I really want to take the voluval. I kind of like the idea.

That part of the promise doesn't sound too hard to keep... but with men... evenings are just so lonely. I miss having someone warm to keep me company, have someone to keep the depressing thoughts away... it would be so tempting to ask Someone for drinks and let one thing to lead to another... It would be so easy.