I just put up bright face and smile...

Sheesh during the time I was away from space they did some interface updates and tests with my pod and managed to mess all my settings. Christ what a work to get them on level I feel comfortable flying. I really waited to get back to space flying. I waited to be one with the ship. But now that I am finally back I feel weird. I’m rusty and out of date; I am not sure would I trust myself on flying combat, not to mention fleet commanding.

Corp is full of familiar strangers. I am sure it’s not them but me. I don’t know how to be with the others after getting used to being just with my thoughts and putting up bright face to mom and Adrianelle. I put up cheerful and bright face to people in corp. too despite that I am not so cheerful. It’s great that Adrianelle is better but it still can be just weeks and she is back on state where she was fighting for her life. I still need to decide what to do with the clan Lougherne. Try to get to know them, really know them, and not just let them talk pretty to a pilot.

Others don’t deserve my negative and dark mood. I should be happy for Adrianelle, happy for finding out long lost relatives, happy to be back in space, but somehow the happiness just isn’t there. So I just put up bright face and smile.