Not even Ulf...

This sucks. Lost clone today and I never react well to emergency cloning. Today is not an exception. Doctor says that I am just more sensitive than others for post cloning stress order or something. What ever it is, I feel crap next 12h. The evening is the worst. Good thing there is whiskey.

It's also a first time that I don't have anyone keeping me company, hugging me when the seizures hits. It makes me hope Veren would still be here, would be my friend. The two times I lost a clone, he was there, realized how bad I felt and just was there. Held me in his arms and borrowed me his strength. Second time brought me even a nerveshot or something, fucking illegal, but damn it helped. He did remember how bad the evening can be for me. Obviously that was years ago, he wouldn't come for me anymore. He probably would be just happy that I suffer.

How come I have ended up into a situation where I don't have anyone to notice how bad I feel, how much I would want someone just come to keep me company, hold me... How come I don't have anyone...

... Not even Ulf.