What if I do...

Damned Orthanach, he has managed to mess my head. During the days I am fine, I am back in the space, I have been less than a week back and I have already been on 3 ops, feeling postive about EM ally combat activity, feeling that I actually might be doing come back to space... but at the evenings... alone... it is then when the thoughts hit.

Do I keep men at distance? Do I avoid taking risks when I don't commit to one man at the time? Is he right that I give men reasons not to take me seriously? Do I use ”being foreigner” as excuse for myself not to really to commit any entity here in Republic? Am I afraid of commitments? Am I afraid to take risks?

I really don't see it that way... but what if I do?