I don’t know what I should do...

I have told couple of my friends that I and Ulf date. Sonja, Bel and Tal are just happy I am seeing nice guy that makes me happy… but Anuko...

We chatted what had happened while she was away etc. I was so full on happiness because of Ulf that I just kind of started to blurt that I have new boyfriend. After I had said the first words I realized “oh I totally forgot that she used to have crush to Ulf”… and dozens confusing thoughts hit my mind in a whirl… “She just got out of hospital, her mind is still fragile, is this good time for telling this”… “But the gossips are out, better to tell her directly and not to let her to learn it from gossips”… “She has had a crush at least to Simeon after this, maybe she is over Ulf”… I had blurted the first sentence, so no way out of telling also rest of it. So I told her that I and Ulf are couple now… it seemed to hurt her. She went awfully guiet; her reactions reminded me from how I reacted when Sonja told me about her and Simeon being couple. I guess she still had feelings toward him. I felt bad even I know that I nor Ulf hadn’t done anything wrong, it was already months ago when she had crush to Ulf and he never in purpose let her to believe that he would be anything else than just friend to her, it wasn’t even me who Ulf had crush back then… but I still felt bad. But I was happy I told her, it hurt me so much when I had realized how long Sonja had hided from me that there is something between her and Simeon and just let me continue work my hope up. Not a same thing, but still I definitely didn’t want to do anything like that to Anuko and considering her tendency to paranoia it would had been worst possible option, but on that moment I didn’t think it this throughout.

On weekend Ulf hinted in his letter that Anuko had threatened him; something along lines he better not hurt me. In the same time that does and doesn’t surprise me. I definitely didn’t see it coming, I would have expected more pining after him, but once heard about it that made sense. When it comes to men, she doesn’t pine after them. She seems easily to fall in love to guys that try to be nice to her, help her, but she can not accept option that maybe it was she who read the signs wrong, so the fault needs to be in the guy, the guy was the bastard that played with her feelings. Ever since I first time intervened with her drug usage and half forced her to rehabilitation and negotiated her out of the deal which had forced her to do work which her psyche couldn’t handle, she has thought about me as kind of big sister. Already when I had hard time with Simeon Anuko had threatened him too. I guess if she sees Ulf through ‘the guy is bastard’ filter she is afraid he will hurt me too like he hurt her.

Should I just let the topic be and hope that time fixes things, or should I try to talk to her? I don’t want her to try to protect me from bogeys that don’t even exist and I don’t want her to give Ulf hard time because of me. I don’t know what I should do.