I will miss him the whole time...

Ulf left to some sub-tribe clan gathering. He will be away several weeks. It sounded lot to be about inter clan politics and I got the impression that inter clan politics and alliances have lot to do with marriages between different clans. Ulf's aunties are there also to check out all the young folks and they specifically asked Ulf and Mata to participate the gathering... I am afraid they will want him to marry someone important and that he feels that it is his duty to do so.

He said that on this trip he will tell to his aunties about me. Same time I feel good that he wants to tell his aunties about me and it scares me a lot. I like that he is serious about us... I want it to be serious... it surprises me, but I really do want it to be serious, something that lasts. But I am so afraid that they tell him that seeing me is not good idea and that he should be good little Atamahara and go find someone that provides nice alliance with some other clan or something.

I guess after this three or four weeks we will know better what his clan thinks. Already now I have a feeling this keeps bugging me the whole time... not knowing and waiting the worse. I just realized how used to I am already to see him regularly. Friday nights are bright spots on my week. I will miss him the whole time.